Tuesday, December 30, 2003


Life moves on...

Well I am in the second day of my new reality. When I am awake my strength of conscious returns to me to save me from my sub conscious when I sleep. It seams as if I have a battle going on with in my soul and that during my sleep it is when I have to fight my hardest battles. It seams as if the worst of John has showed up in my life and in my dreams. I am in the process of trying to get to my spiritual center and trying to consult my spiritual guides to see me through this. I am also waiting on my real life spiritual guides to phone back so I may seek some clarity to my dreams. Thus allowing me to 100% move forward.

The last 48 hours have shown me how blessed I am in support. Thank you to everyone who reads my blog, thank you to everyone on Common Threads, thank you to all my friends and family here. It is because of these people that only give support to my strength. I know that I will need to rely on them in the coming weeks and months as the healing process moves forward. For I have now seen the moments where my strength alludes me and when they step up to show me it is there. I know that in my self journey...part of it is done alone and other parts of it are done with amazing support of those who see the true light we shine.

I am amazed at my self...at my spiritual side and how amazingly strong it has become. I am reminded of the verse foot prints. I know that God and Goddess are carrying me through this right now. I know they have good things in store for me and I thank them so much. They are the ones who showed me how blessed I am. They remind me occasionally of the salty tears that I know the seasons of my soul so that when the sweet honey of love shows up in my life I can embrace it.

|| 9:59 PM ||

All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction. (Marya Mannes)

Monday, December 29, 2003


Change has finally come...

This morning brought a wind of change into my life. When you ask the higher powers for insight into your life they answer and some times in a harsh gust of wind through your soul. My body still numb from the news and yet relieved.

As of lately I had been feeling disconnected from John...asking the higher powers to show me a sign of what is next. Well I found a source of information that lead me to believe that well, something was up. So I emailed John asking him for clarification and well he gave it to me with words that cut like a knife and yet slashed any remaining sentiment I had towards him. It is clear in his actions and words that he does not chose to have the gift of my love in his life. That war has lead him to talking to another woman and her being able to understand in ways I can't thus leading him to want to pursue that woman in a relationship. I will not give him the fight he is looking for...I don't want that drama or negative engergy that the fight brings. I bid him well and good luck in his journies in the sand and with his new interest.

For the past month I have been feeling my heart is heading on a different path myself. I will always love John and chairsh those wonderful lessons he brought to my life. It was because of my love for him that I stayed with him and stuck through this deployment. It is because of my love and this deployment that I healed my soul of past wounds. It is because of the space and solitude that my life's path has taken me on a journey that I discovered The Light of Love with in my soul and I know that it still shines. I have come to relize that maybe what I once thought of as "It" was my mirror to the path of truth. I have come on this amazing self discovery journey that one can only take by one's self.

Now is the time for the new me to move forward to find the one who wants to grow in a healthy loving relationship. It is time to find the man who waits to hear how my day has gone. Time to find the man I can't wait to come home to in the morning and snuggle with before I drift off to dream land. I can't wait to find the loving partner who will encourage my dream of the spa...one who wants to be a partner in the loving spa I want to create. My body is a temple and my soul it's greatest light and I am so radiant today the sun does not need to shine.

I needed John's mirror to show me how beautiful I am. I needed John so that I could start my healing process and know that there are men out there that are kind. Please don't let his last actions fool you..they may be hurt full but kind in a hidden way. They gave me the strength to send him off in love, to release the teacher that is no longer needed so that I can move forward and discover more amazing things about myself. I feel renewed and know that so many in my life see the light he could not see. I feel that an amazing path is being shown to me and I look forward to taking it. The time is right for moving forward. As John was the last part of me as of lately that was not moving forward. This is a great closure to 2003 and a great start to 2004....as this New Years Eve I will cleanse the apartment and re affirm that negativity does not live here. I will re affirm that this is a loving environment in wich to grow into beauty.

As I said in an earlier post...The thicker the mud the more beautiful the Lotus flower becomes...I have emerged into a true Beauty. Thank you Goddess for the light I have finnaly opened my eyes to see.

|| 2:49 PM ||

All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction. (Marya Mannes)

Rembering/Honoring our Service Men and Women.

I am happy to see that our U.S. Magazines like Time and People are honoring those men and women in Uniform. Time made The American Soldier person of the year and Poeple has a 5 page spread of those who lost their lives in the War and after. I have to say that I know I have never been more proud to be part of a couple in my life. I was proud of John before he left and my pride has grown in all that he has accoplished in serving our country. Baby I love you! I can't wait to hold you and hug you and tell you in preson how proud I am of you.

|| 4:25 AM ||

All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction. (Marya Mannes)

Sunday, December 28, 2003


Reflections...long winded/sappy!

As we come into the last days of 2003 I find myself a little more reflective than most years. When so many amazingly big events happen in one year it can go by very quickly. So quickly you don't even have time to think about it until later.

This year I have seen war through the eyes of a loved one waiting back at home. I remember when I was 10 during Gulf War 1 I was glued to the TV. What I did not realize at that time due to my parents protected me from it is that I had an uncle in that war, uncle Bobby. I remember seeing the bombs on TV all shown through night vision goggles. I remember feeling/wondering how families back home felt of the men and women they had over there and yet those images did not pierce my heart the way this war has.

I was lucky that John was not over in the sand right away, he got there in April. However it did not matter if he was state side or if he was over in the sand I would search high and low for any information that could lead me to some understanding. Though my worry still remains the same, because John is still in harms way, I would have to say the intensity of the worry is lower than it was first. I realize that your body makes the intensity go way for the soul purpose of surviving and helping your loved one get through this. For if the intensity stayed the same you yourself would be dead because of the worry. Plus over time you learn that no news is good news as well as you start to know what to look for when there is breaking news on the TV.

I have never known of a helplessness like the one I have felt this year. I have never known a love like I have known this year. At one point in my own heart I questioned my feelings for John. I once asked myself "Is this really it?" I now feel that if this is not it, than I will never know what IT is. For love is the only thing I can think of that would make someone sit for 330 plus days waiting for someone to come home. For love is the only reason why I spend 12 hours baking 12 dozen cookies, wrapping them in anything that will help them stay a little fresher, and shipping them out that same day so that in 10 days he may enjoy a little bit of home. For love is the reason why the people at the post office know me by face and name. For love is the only reason why I now have friends who know the same pain and worry that I know. I know now that love is far bigger than my heart and mind could have ever dreamed.

I have seen death in one of it's ugliest forms, in fact in four short days it will be the 5 year anniversary of the day my uncle Craig died of AIDS. Maybe because we knew Craig would die we were able to make the most of our time together. Say all the I love yous and maybe that is why goodbye just does not seam like the right thing to say to a family member when they leave. I miss Craig but I feel him with me every day and I live my life with out regret, because that is how he lived, because that is how he would have wanted me to live.

Being a young woman I loved Craig more than life and thought my life would never be the same with out him. The love I had for Craig could not have prepared me for the love I discovered when John came into my life. I did not know what love was until now. Nothing could have prepare me for how I feel right now...how much I long to hold John and how much John means to my life. Yes life does move on when someone is away or passes. But even though life moves on we take them with us in our hearts. I look at all of the things I have done in John's absence this year and know with each thing he has been with me. Some things done because they had to be done and some things done to easy the pain of separation.

In Spring of this year I found the apartment that I would mentally prepare to move into in Aug. Thus saying goodbye to a roommate, the place where John and I became and US and to the place where I felt home was. I had to get ready for a new home, a new us, a new ME!

Trying to make the pain of separation go away I through myself into the preparation of moving and getting things ready for the first apartment with out a roommate. I have come to the knowledge that just because you are moving a block and a half away, does not mean you should skip packing. Also I found out that just because you have a lot of stuff, when you loose a roommate you always need more. If you think it cost X amount of dollars and Y amount of time to do a project, triple both numbers.

I have rediscovered sides of the renaissance woman I am that had been sleeping for a few years. I have completed many projects some of which are labors of love and others were just so that we saved a piece of furniture from hitting the trash. I have started cross stitching again this year and have three projects done, most of which I gave away. I have refinished 2 pieces of furniture and re upholstered a chair. Made windows look like stain glass and my favorite project of them all...remodeled my doll house my grandfather gave me when I was a little girl.

I was reminded how in life we DO get to chose our family. I watched my best female friend of 19 years who is my heart's sister get married to her best friend. I was able to share in her joy and big event by standing beside her as a bridesmaid. Always able to keep my magic with our friendship and pulling surprises of the heart...from the wedding shower she never thought she would have, to the toast at the wedding reception, and the gift of love waiting for them in their hotel sweet to nourish them after a wonderfully long day.

I was also reminded this year that forgiveness is the best gift one can give. Thus allowing me to spend a lot of time with friends and family of old. Reconnections made this year that will continue through the years to come and that friendships formed may last a day and some may last a life time. Each one is as different a single grain of sand or a snow fake depending on your climate. Also this year allowed me to nourish existing relationships and make them stronger for the years to come.

Spirituality re-confirmed this year and thus showing me my life's path in many ways. My faith is stronger than it has been for years and that I give thanks to John for. I believe that we do not get to chose what life puts in front of us, we do however get to chose how we respond to it. That even in the darkest of hours there is light. John's commitment to our country and my commitment to him allowed me the space to discover life, love and light with in my soul and faith. For that I am grateful and look forward to the year ahead and it's challenges that it brings forth. I embrace John coming home and helping him through the final stages of his journey. I look forward to school and taking this light/faith/love and putting it to work through my hands and opening a spa for couples. I feel this is my destiny to spread the love of life.

The lotus flower blooms more beautiful when in the thickets mud, the phoenix will rise from the ash, and the divine light is with in all of us. I thank God and Goddess for showing me such amazing lessons this year. I thank them for the lessons I have yet to learn and I thank them for being patient with me. I thank my friends and family for their overwhelming support in my growing process. I thank John for seeing something in me that I had yet to see. For I am blessed. I wish everyone an amazing and loving new year. May your cup runith over like mine does.

|| 11:48 PM ||

All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction. (Marya Mannes)

Stupid Lawsuits

Ok as I was strolling around to find some note worthy news, which I was not lucky enough to find, I find one of my pet peeves. People who sue over stupid shit they did. Excuse my language but I hate these types of stories. I mean people wasting the systems time by filing law suits against Mc Donalds for making them fat! Come on own up to your own responsibility people. However the one I found on CNN today just kind of hit the hot button.

Here is the link so you can read and make your own oppion of this article.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/12/26/toddlers.claim.ap/index.html

Personally I think our system should sue the mother for wasting our time and our tax paying money because she was not watching her 2 year old son. I mean come on...the boy was running around playing like an average 2 year old boy does. Yes he got hurt but that does not give her the right to sue for lost wages! I mean it's not like this child will never work again. Give me an F*ing break. If your so sad that your 2 year old son's modeling career is the only way to keep the bills paid you need more of a life.

Ok I know I am 24 but I feel as if I have grown up to see that people my age are not taking responsibility for their own actions. I think our older generations had it right in regards to suck it up and deal with it a little. No wonder lawyers are rich and in demand...we have such a sue happy country that will sue over any little thing. These lawyers only can encourage it and take half of the huge settlements. I mean we are clogging up our system for people who need it. People like the burn victim due to arson is just one example I can think of.

Please don't think of me as a cold and heartless woman. I feel sorry the two year old was injured but come on lady the child is going to have bumps and bruises in his life. I would hope that even if my son was hurt I would not sue over something like that. That is why I pay for medical insurance and work for that insurance. Yes if it was not up to code I would fight to get the city to make it code but I would not be looking for money out of it. It is my job to make sure my child is safe exp at 2 years of age!

Ok I am off my soap box now...just had to vent a little about that.

|| 3:35 AM ||

All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction. (Marya Mannes)

100 little facts about ME!

So following tradition of my favorite host board I am doing 100 little facts about me to share with my reading audience.

1) I am 24 years old
2) Born on Sep. 23 1979
3) I am the oldest of 6 and yet raised as an only child
4) My youngest sibling is 17 months old.
5) My oldest sibling is 18 years old (Birthday Dec 25th)
6) My step father adopted me at the age of 10 but raised me sense I was a year and a half.
7) I have his last name.
8) He is African American
9) I have had a car accident with a semi truck
10) I lived to tell about it.
11) In my senior year of high school I called a radio station and faked an orgasms that was recorded and played over the air.
12) I have a great "story" telling voice
13) I have been on my own sense I was 19
14) John and I met at work.
15) Because I missed a shift meeting due to my car accident with the semi truck
16) We did not think the other was cute at first.
17) We have been dating off and on for 2 plus years now
18) He is my fourth boyfriend named John
19) He is the tenth man in my life named John (I have lots of friends named John)
20) I think at least 3 of them are John David like John is.
21) He is the first man to not run away when seeing my past but make me deal with my past myself.
22) I passed my divers test on the second time...first time I took it was on a automatic car after leaning how to drive on a stick shift.
23) Passed the test driving a stick shift.
24) I can't wait to get back into school for massage therapy
25) I want to open my own spa
26) I tollerate my current job... only because I can play on the computer
27) I do not like most veggies.
28) I am liking chocolate less and less over the years.
29) I like dark chocolate more than milk chocolate.
30) I love to bake
31) I can bake most kinds of cookies but cannot make chocolate chip.
32) I love to cook for people
33) I am addicted to movies...last time I counted I have close to 300 VHS tapes
34) I do not have children...I think I want them one day.
35) I admit that my mother and I are way too much a like.
36) She is a massage therapist.
37) She had me when she was 19 years old.
38) I love my new apartment
39) It will be fully decorated by mid Feb.
40) I love to sing
41) My friend is going to record me to see if it is worth thinking about as a hobby and to join a band.
42) I want my own dark studio for photography.
43) I love cross stiching
44) I live a boring life
45) I am ok with my boring life and like it!
46) People who hear my stories don't think I lead a boring life
47) I was going to be a teacher at one point in my life
48) Chose not to because I did not think another generation needed to have spelling issues.
49) Can't get enough brushing, flossing, and cleaning my teeth lately
50) I love John and how he kisses me
51) I love John's hugs
52) In John's absence I have refinshed 2 pieces of furniture and re done a chair.
53) I hate when work is quiet like this...someone needs to talk.
54) I don't do well in quite
55) I don't like surprises.
56) I am patient with something and not others.
57) I love to go dancing.
58) I want to learn how to salsa
59) I speak some Spanish.
60) I have lived in Wisconsin my whole life.
61) I have only been out of the US once to Canada.
62) I want to travel more.
63) My parents moved out of state and left me here.
64) My dad is in Colorado
65) My mom is in Florida.
66) I have never broken a bone on accident.
67) I had to have my upper jaw/pallet broken to fix my under bite and thus my only broken bone.
68) I had a male ER nurse ask me if I was wearing the matching panties to my nice bra while I was strapped to a board.
69) I managed football in highschool.
70) I dated the other teams players because my team was like my brothers
71) I type close to 100 WPM...don't ask about my accuracy.
72) I have magic hands or so I have been told.
73) I hate wearing make up...though I found some colors I like recently
74) I am 5'2" and John is 6'6"
75) My sense of smell is finally coming back after working for Bath and Body Works for 3 and a half years.
76) I was a floral designer.
77) I don't miss the job but I do miss playing with flowers.
78) I love the Cala Lilly and Roses (colors that are not common)
79) I am crafty
80) I have a very old fashioned apartment
81) I have a modern way of thinking
82) I have some old ways of thinking as well...Stand by your man.
83) I love a good cry.
84) I don't believe in with holding information
85) I like my body and think it is sexy, even if it not what society finds sexy.
86) I think I am discovering a healthy out look on life.
87) I enjoy my good and bad days...they are healthy.
88) If I have children...I don't want boys, prefer girls only to avoid the name Melvin.
89) I think I might make an amazing aunt.
90) Woo Hoo only 10 more...now 9 more to go.
91) I am becoming a clean freak.
92) I love to chat on the computer.
93) I don't drink coffee only coke in the morning/evening
94) I love to read...though I don't do it often.
95) I love to shop...getting better on dealing with that addiction.
96) I enjoy a good night in bed with John.
97) I have a good group of friends and family.
98) I am blessed.
99) I believe it is better to give than receive.
100) You never know how valuable your life is until you watched a love one die.

|| 12:28 AM ||

All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction. (Marya Mannes)

Saturday, December 27, 2003


A clean apartment!

I can always tell when my life is a mess or I am way too busy/stressed out for my own good. How I can tell is my apartment or living space gets messy. Today after sleeping and getting ready for work tonight I look around with a fresh head and go...IT IS TIME TO CLEAN! So I start in the kitchen with the dishes and work my way to the bedroom and bathroom. I already feel better now that I have made a good dent in the cleaning process. I think New Years Eve plans will be to really clean this apartment...I mean scrub all surfaces and start this new year off right.

I think 2004 will be my year for good things. I feel that 2004 will be the year I start massage school and head down the correct path in life for career. I think 2004 will be the continuation of self growth and self discovery. I think 2004 will bring family close again and great developments there. I feel 2004 will bring John home and we can figure out what path we are to be on. I feel that he is in my life for a reason and I look forward to see what this new path is that we will take. I look forward to 2004 and getting the rest of the items for my apartment and getting out any small debt. Mom don't worry your pretty little head off I am fine...this is not a plea for you to send money! I feel 2004 will bring new friendships and strengthen existing ones.

I feel very hopeful tonight and I can tell because I started the cleaning process. Both cleaning of the mind and cleaning of the apartment. Well I need to get going to finish cleaning/getting ready for work. I will scour the news tonight and post more current events when at work. Food for thought...have you cleaned your head out recenty?

|| 6:14 PM ||

All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction. (Marya Mannes)

Expecations...why can't I ditch them.

Yet again I am hurt by putting expecations into people that should not deserve it. I know better than to do this but I just put so much hope in the good of people. Maybe so much so that I get hurt in the long run.

Well back to the holiday...and how interesting it was. I made it to Sheboygan a little later than I expected but had a wonderful evening with my family x-mas eve. My brother and sister always prove to amaze me at how they are turning into wonderful young adults. In fact my baby bro closet to me in age is now 18 years old and has a full BEARD! Ok younger baby brothers are not allowed to grow facial hair because well it just makes me feel old, even though I am only 24 years old. My sister who is 15 going on 30 is turning out to be a little hottie heart breaker...she gets that from her older sister! However she made me giggle in church so that was always fun...we got yelled at by my step mom/her mom. Hahahaha Oh well it was a memory I will always remember for Karen (step mom) does not yell ever.

Then we were off to the side of the family I never see...AUNT DEBBIE'S house. Ok so the last time I was at her house I was beeing passed around...yup I was 3 months old! Let's just say it had been some time sense I have seen that side of the family. So I got to see Aunt's, grandparents, and cusins that I have not seen in years. It was fun to find out my cusin Mark lives in and works in the same city as I do. He is an accountant too so he is going to do my taxes in exchange for dinner...how easy is that one! Plus his firm specilizes in small bisness so if I open up my spa in the city where I live he can help me with the books...I would pay him more than just dinner for that. Pay him for the service of accounting for the spa and this his family bounus would be free massages. I think that is a good offer don't you?

Well seeing I was broke this year I gave everyone massages X-mas eve for a nice pamper holiday gift! Then after the fun at the Aunt's house we went back to my biological father's house (Randy) and the sibs and I watched MASH! Woo Hoo for that...first time watching some of those episodes. I now want all the DVD's of MASH they are great! Then after hang out with the sibs x-mas morning I drove the hour back to Milwaukee and had dinner with one of my mom's best friends. Thank you Amy for the wonderful cornish game hens and company. I am sorry I had to leave early to drive home and get to work by 7pm.

Got done with work at 2am and got home to bed by 3am...had to get something to eat. Then to do it all again at noon! Now after resting from getting done with work I am able to look back in reflection.

The holiday lead to some relationships getting stronger and some of them fadding. I have a feeling my grandparents on the bio father side are going to be passing soon. They did not look good X-mas eve...so at least I have a few more memories there. Plus I was able to get pictures with them as well. Life is too short to fight sometimes and yet other times it is so hard to forgive. I am glad I did not hear the "We have 9 grandchildren and love all of them equally." For that would not have been true this time, because I was the only grand child with out a holiday gift. However I thank them for making me be a stronger person.

This holiday was full of life's lessons that continue to season my soul. My heart is filled to the brim with love and yet hurt at the same time. Just means my heart is feeling and that is better than nothing.

|| 12:59 AM ||

All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction. (Marya Mannes)

Friday, December 26, 2003


Work..Yuck!

Ok I have 10 more minutes left of my break and then I get to work for another hour and a half. I realize now why I work 3rd shift...they actually make you work during the day! Today has been a steady flow of calls in our call center and well that makes the extra time being here go by quickly. I don't have time to update the rest of my holiday but I will this afternoon when I get home. I think the novelty of the blog is still exciting me lets just hope I can keep it up.

Now I will finish my Culvers (Frozen Custard) mint hot fudge Sunday and then log into the phones for another round here at the call center. Then tonight I am off to clean the apartment and enjoy a movie and play on the computer. Ahh yes the fun and exciting life I lead...I do enjoy being home and setting up the apartment. It like my web log is my little domain in the world that is safe spot for me to just be. Talk to you soon my dear friends.

|| 3:20 PM ||

All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction. (Marya Mannes)

True excitement!

Ok so after months of pondering if I should start a blog myself it finally comes to be. With only 40 minutes left of work for the evening, working OT so other can enjoy the holiday, I am hyper because I am finally able to have a space to just put my thoughts. I was never good at journals for I type far faster than I can write...plus I like the spell check button. However for the first time in months/years depending on when I started to count I feel like I have something to say.

Well seeing the holiday just ended an hour and a half ago maybe I should recap how this holiday season has been so far. The apartment has no holiday decorations this year (moved into the apt in Aug) because well there is not a good spot to put them when I am done using them and the less junk I have the better. So I enjoyed everyone else's decorations. Christmas Eve I got done with work at 6 am (I work 3rd shift Saturday nights through Tuesday nights) and then proceeded to go home and take a 3 hour nap. I woke up early because I had to get ready for the travels I would encounter that day.

So before getting ready I called and ordered a holiday arrangement for J's parents. Then proceeded to gussy myself up and head out to spread holiday spirit! Once in my trusty slay (Ok it's my Saturn) I picked up the simply amazing arrangement for J's parents that then proceeded to spill all over the seat of the car. I was lucky that I did not have to perform my magic floral skills on the arrangement for it was only water that spilled and no damage was done to the arrangement itself. Just a little back ground information, in another life I was a floral designer and thus I am very picky about my flowers and arraignments. It is because I am picky that J will never buy me flowers and is totally spoiled with flowers when he is home.

Anyway I arrived at the house and was able to brighten the day for his folks. I have given them flowers for the last two holidays and I thought well some traditions need to stay the same for them this year. I was only able to stay for a short time and had a nice conversation with them. Then I was off to my disfuctional family Christmas! Eventually some where on this blog will come out how open I am about my family and how disfuctional it can be. Ahh yes family!

Ok more to come on the holiday story...that is just a teaser and a start as I need to get wrapping up here at work. Woo Hoo I get to sleep in my newly made over bed tonight! I just got new sheets for the holidays, along with new comforter and four new pillows. I love my bed! Then I am back to work tomorrow for more over time! (Ok so I don't like the job but the fat paycheck will be nice) Hope everyone had a lovely holiday and more to come on mine soon!

|| 1:19 AM ||

All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction. (Marya Mannes)

Thursday, December 25, 2003


Welcome...

Being that this is my first post ever on my newly acquired blog I guess I should tell a little about myself and what you may come to expect.

Lets start first with a little bit about myself. First off a warning...My spelling has something to be desired and I have come to terms with this and accepted this part of my life. Also my grammar is also lacking, however if you keep and open mind to the content vs individual words you will see into my soul and heart. I always feel a mind is like an umbrella much more useful open!

I am 24 years old and going through a rebirth/cross roads in my life. As my mother put it best "When you are two you learn to walk and you have your stumbles along the way it is when in you're twenties that you get to learn how to live the same way you learned how to walk...With a few stumbles." I work third shift for an insurance company and I feel that my life is going to take me on a different path in the near future. I would like to pursue a degree in massage therapy through a school close to my home. I believe that everyone in life needs healthy touch daily. This would then have me following in my mother's foot prints...My mother is a big part of my life though we do not live anywhere close to each other.

My dear boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 plus years now. He currently is deployed to the "Sandbox" with an Army Reserve Transportation Company. We met at the insurance company where I currently work at. J has been active now for 330 plus days but over in the "Sandbox" sense April 2003. His return date we are waiting on but we are crossing our fingers in hopes that it is soon.

Now on to what you might expect from my blog. J is a big part of my life and one of my favorite subjects to talk about...so be prepared to read about our journey together. I am a passion person so when there is a subject I am passionate about you may see that posted on here...that could be anything from politics, religion, to the best possible cleaning product. I like to keep a good balance in my life so you will see a range of topics. I may use my blog like a journal as well and thus showing all sides of myself.

I like everyone of us have great days, good days, bad days and worse days. I try to use the perspective of this; we may not get a choice as to what situations we are put into but we do have a choice as to how to respond to them. I try to keep and open mind for you never know what you could learn. I am open to people making comments about what I may put on this board however please respect my right to freedom of thoughts, feelings, and speech and I will respect yours. Remember this is my right that my boyfriend fights for and I love him for fighting for that right.

Well that is a basic introduction to who I am and the very basic at that. I will share with you my light of love as my journey of life continues.

|| 11:40 PM ||

All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction. (Marya Mannes)